Astounding Surprises

An Essay about life’s surprises

An Essay by Jordan Crawford

8^th Grade English

Pine Point School

October 25, 2010

            You are walking over to your house and when you walk into your room you get surprised by a surprise party. My life’s surprises are mostly good and I think every loves a good surprise about a parent. In To Kill a Mockingbird Jem and Scout get a good father surprise. After this essay hopefully you will see surprises in your life.  

(TS)Jem and Scout are in for a big surprise when their ‘boring’ dad, who only reads books, shoots a dog dead. (SD) The kids find out from Ms. Maudie that Atticus was “the deadest shot in Maycomb County”.(CM) Although I think that the biggest amazement for Jem and Scout was when Atticus said he liked to shoot a shotgun and could hit 14 out of 15 doves.(CM) Astonishingly enough when Jem and Scout got air rifles he didn’t teach the kids how to use the rifles.(SD) In this whole chapter Jem amazed me the most with his thoughts about his dad.(CM) When Scout said they could tell everyone at school about the shooting Jem said ‘No’.(CM) When Scout asked why not, Jem replied with ,“Atticus is a gentleman, just like me.” this means he respects his decisions. (CS)Overall Jem and Scout learned an astonishing amount about their dad, some of it he probably should have told them about before.   

(TS)In sixth grade we had sports tryouts and I knew what I wanted to do and it was cross country; which turned out my dad when he was in high school. (SD) The fact of my dad running long distances was a huge shocker since he works with music and a rope company. (CM) Also my dad had won medals when he was running for most improved time or fasted time. (CM) Not only did he win medals he was also the captain of his team for a couple of years. (SD) For the years I have done cross country my dad has been a great coach. (CM) My dad has given me advice on pacing my breathing and running tips. (CM) My dad last year ran with me for the penguin run to help me become a better runner. (CS) My dad helping me and being runner helped we to my disbelief and shows not all surprises are bad.

Now when you walk into a surprise party you will probably cherish this moment. It is good to be surprised by something good once in a while. You can surprise other people too. Just make sure it is a good surprise not a surprise attack.

Outline for 4-Paragraph Essay

Main Point or Thesis of Essay: the many surprise of life
Bell word: surprise

Paragraph 1 -- Opening
Hook: You walk into a room and get surprise by a party for you
Comment on the hook: My experience with surprises
Comment on the hook: Jem and Scout’s experience with surprises
Thesis (with bell word) After this paragraph you may find a surprise in your life

Paragraph 2

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis) Jem and Scout’s big surprise
2 Echo words to be used: Astonishment Amazement

SD: One shot Finches
CM: The weapon the “boring dad” uses
CM: Didn’t teach his kids with the air rifles

SD: Atticus’ evasion
CM: Atticus said it’s no use lying to a kid and he lied
CM: After the mad dog shooting he didn’t want to talk about it

SD: Jem’s respect
CM: Jem said not to mention the shooting
CM: Said Atticus is a gentleman just like me

CS: Do you think Atticus made the right choice in not saying he was good with a gun

Paragraph 3

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis) Cross country
2 Echo words to be used: shocker disbelief

SD: 6th grade fall sports
CM: wanting to do cross country
CM: My dad doing cross country

SD: My dad work with music not running
CM: Won medals for meets
CM: Team captain in college

SD: Being a good coach
CM: Giving me advice
CM: Running penguin run with me

CS: Be ready to be surprised

Paragraph 4

Hook (the same as paragraph 1, or different) You walk into a room and get surprise by a party for you
Echo word (could be bell word) Surprise
Comment on the hook: It is good to be surprised
Comment on the hook: You can surprise people too
Re-statement, in slightly different words, of the thesis: Just make sure the surprise is a good one and not a surprise attack.

Freestyle Writing:Leaves

 In autumn the leaves on the trees start to fall off the trees onto the ground in a graceful swirl as the wind gently carries them off the trees and onto the green grass of the world, coating it in a crunchy blanket. The trees to are transformed by the leaves. These transformations are colorful as the leaves die they change colors turning the trees into colorful broccoli. As it gets colder the leaves fall of and the we experience winter when the leaves have all but disappeared in a frosted coat of snow. As spring comes the trees are sprinkled red with blossoms like a sprinkled donuts. Finally summer when all of the leaves are are back and the trees can become broccoli again.      

English 8A

Jordan
Pine Point

10/12/10

Essay #5

Crying a river

An Essay About Crying

            Sitting, laying, standing crying is something that we do when we are feeling sad, frustrated, or just mad. In the case of To Kill a Mockingbird Jem is crying from frustration for the lost of his special knot-hole. I too sometimes cry from frustration, but usually I cry from just being plain sad. After this essay you may see why Jem and I cry.
    (TS) Jem stands outside on his porch for a long time staring out at the tree not making an utter cry. This sentence is what I picture when I read page 84; Jem standing outside crying to himself about the tree.(SD)I think that Jem was crying because Mr. Radley sealed up the knot-hole to stop Jem and Scout from sending notes.(CM) Jem and Scout through the chapter were growing closer to the tree; waiting for the next trinket to appear in it.(CM) Although the biggest blow was dealt when Mr.Radley lied about the tree dieing so he had a excuse to seal up the hole so they would stop sending notes.(SD) Also Jem was just standing there quietly staring off the porch into a disappearing day, until the light is all but diminished.(CM) It seems as if Scout is saying that Jem was in a state of shock, which could explain why he just leaned against the rail and stared.(CM) This could explain that he couldn't believe he had to part with the knot-hole so he cried silent tears. Overall this was one depressing chapter, it was also ironic that Jem said, "Don't cry Scout.", yet he was the one crying.
          (TS)Cry is a sign of emotion that some creatures can't do.(SD) I personally do not cry for any old reason.(CM) Instead I usually will get upset if something such as the death of someone.(CM)I will usually not cry if I am mad or want something , and I see why Jem was crying about the knot hole.(CM)He had grown so close to it that it had become a friend, and he had lost it.(SD) What's more is that Jem was crying silent tears; the tears just rolled out of his teary eyes like a stream on a mountain with no sound.(CM) When one of my pets die my I usually don't bawl extremely loudly like I am trying to wake the dead.(CM) I usually just let the tear roll down my face and stare quietly into the endless space of time and thoughts.(CS)On the whole Jem had a good reason to cry for he had just been stopped from visiting his favorite place, but lets hope that Jem knows how to control his emotions.
          Although I may not cry when I want something and so far Jem doesn’t either, we both cry. To me crying is an emotion that we should be happy we have. But we also should take it for granted by crying all the time. Overall crying is wonderful but like I said use it wisely or it could be a bad thing.
             I think that one of my weak point on this essay was my opening and closing paragraph because I had trouble connecting the two paragraphs. On the other hand I think that one of my strong point would be my second (SD) first paragraph. One of the writing issues I'm working on is careless mistakes. I would give myself a B-.   
       

   

Jordan
English 8
Pine Point School
Essay #4
Peek-At-Boo
An Essay about Privacy
There is a strange house near you and you want to have a look at who owns it. This may seem like loads of fun but do you think that he or she would like you constantly watching them in their private space.This essay is about a book that is all about kids fascinated with a person. After this you may want to leave people alone ,because you don't want someone looking through your window every day..

(TS) “There was a long jagged scar that ran across his face; what teeth he had were yellow and rotten; his eyes popped out, and he drooled most of the time”was  Boo's description from To Kill a Mockingbird but does he really deserve kids invading his space? (SD)Dill and Scout dare Jem to run and touch the front porch of the Radely’s house. (CM) This is not that bad since they are not really peeking into his house or knocking on the door then running away.(CM) Although I’m sure Boo would have appreciated if these kids would leave him in peace it is not doing him any harm.(SD) Another one of Jem and Scouts privacy breaking deeds was when they went into Boo Radley’s yard.(CM) This was not a good thing, because unlike the other times Jem and Scout both took something out of a tree in Boo’s yard.(CM) These things happened to be gum and two very old pennies which could be his.(CS)Overall Jem, Scout, and Dill seem to have a obsession of Boo Radley’s life, but at least they are not yet peeking at Boo.
These times with Jem and Scout may seem exciting but they should really think if their neighbor want them snooping around. The worst thing they did to invade Boo's private space was when they went into his front yard and took stuff out of his trees. This obsession over Boo Radley is definitely going to get them into trouble. Lets just hope its not Boo who finds out.