The Friendship Vase
An Essay about Friendships and Vases
April 13, 2011
Jordan Crawford
English 8A
Having friendships is magnificent percentage of life and everyone has at least one indestructible friendship, that when you are together like you are in wonderland. Sometimes friendships start because two people have so much in common, or it is because they exchange information or just listen to each other. Either way friendships are a part of human life. It has become a necessity of our daily lives.
When you look at a vase filled with flowers the last thing that would come to mind would be how it is like a friendship; something I have with a fun-loving teen named Joseph. My comradeship with Joseph began a long time ago, when I was just two years old. From being two to ten years old our journey as buddies was one to be recorded, but could not be put down into an orderly format. Even today we still manage to see each other but we do not need to see each other to have fun all the time just like how a flower doesn’t need the vase to look beautiful. From the time we were young, we realized we had the same liking such as Batman: The Animated Series. We both take turns talking and we do not overwhelm one or another when we are talking to each other. We take turns being in the spotlight but understand when it is input or output time. As a great deal of people know some friendships, over time diminish and soon there is little or no friendship between them, but this is not the case for us and we have never grown apart. This is unlike a vase, an object that can break or grow too small for the plant that is in that way unlike our friendship. Even thought there is a slight age difference and we like different things at times we manage to maintain our friendship. Over the years our friendship has been tested such as when Joseph graduated ninth grade and went on to high school, but we will always be the closest of friends.
My friendship with Joseph has never deteriorated over time and is one of my many friendships. At school all my classmates have become close friends and I will be upset when next year comes and many are not around. I will make new friends over time as will anyone, but you have to remember not to outgrow your vase.
Self Assessment
I think my weak point in this essay is my lack of unique vocabulary.
One of the strong points in this essay would be my echo words.
An issue in this writing would be the lack of good transition words.
I would give myself a B.
Hi Jordan,
ReplyDeletegreat paragraph, I really liked your opening scentence it was entertaing and stated the topic well. "From the time we were young we realized we had the same liking such as Batman: the animated series. We both take turns talking and we do not overpower one or another when we are talking to each other." In the second sentece here you change tenses, it is also a run on sentence
Hi Jordan,
ReplyDeleteGood job, I enjoyed reading this paragraph about your friendship with Joseph. I like this sentence [From being two to ten years old our journey as buddies was one to be recorded, but could not be put down into a neat format.] because it represents your own flare to your writing. In this sentence [From the time we were young we realized we had the same liking such as Batman: the animated series.] I think that you should put a comma in between young and we because this is an introductory clause and it makes the sentence sound better. In this sentence [Some friendships, over time diminish and soon there is little or no friendship but we have never grown apart.] I think that you should put a comma after time because it is extra information and because it sounds better. Excellent Job!
-Kara