Loneliness
An Essay on Lifes Loneliness
 Jordan Crawford

 Pine Point School

English 8th
November 18

 (TS) Everyone has felt lonely a few times in their life.(CM) You can feel lonely when you are alone, like me when I am at my house alone.(CM) You also can have a lonely feeling when you are with a group of people you don't know such as at parties and in the case of Dill with his parents.(CS) The one greatest part of being lonely is when you are joined and once again become joyful.
      (TS)Dill is a person who has experienced immense lonely feelings during his life already. (SD)An example would be with his parents who didn’t interact with him. (CM) His parents bought him mostly anything he wanted, but were not willing to play with him and chose to be in absolute seclusion.(CM) Also Dill said his parents “just weren’t interested in him”, but were willing to buy what ever it took to make him quiet, which led to an abandoned feeling. (SD) Dill also describes his parents as people who would like to live a secluded life.(CM) For instance Dill said “they stayed gone all the time”, even when they were at home.(CM) Another reason for Dill’s abandoned feeling is the fact that they didn’t acknowledge he was there, for they just stayed in their room. This accumulation of events adds to why Dill is lonely, for he is simply without a friend.

       (TS)I sometimes feel lonely, times when I feel vulnerable to everything that would usually bounce off me like sleet on a warm winter jacket. (SD) Those feelings that I could often brush aside batter me with enormous force, like the times I am alone in my house. At home with my family I feel indestructible like a sci-fi movie monster, but when everyone leaves I become a lost kitten with no one except video games and a few movies. (CM)One of the ways I combat these lonesome feelings is to pick up a good book, one that isn’t Jurassic Park a book that makes me glance fearfully out the window and also makes me feel like a small animal being hunted, this replaces loneliness with a hide-under-the-bed fear. (SD) This next lonely feeling happens when I am at a party with relatives that I hardly know and then they have their friends over. (CM)When I don’t know any people that are walking around, I start to get lonesome even when there are around 25 people. (CM)This makes for a lost feeling, and I am usually very shy and won’t talk very much especially to people I don't know .(CS)These small reasons do add up but they are dispersed when someone I know comes to me.
      (TS)This paragraph summarizes some of the reasons Dill and I feel lonely whether we are alone or with a group of people. (CM)Dill feels lonesome because his parents partially ignore him.(CM)I feel lonely when I am home alone or when I am with an unfamiliar group of people. Loneliness is a depressing feeling, so help other people out who may feel lonely so that everyone can be happy together.  
     Self Assessment 
One of the things in this essay that I think I need to improve would be knowing where and where not to put commas in a sentence.  One of the strong points in this writing would be my transitions which I have been working on. One weak point is my opening paragraph which could use some more pizazz. I would give my self a B 

Jordans Outline of Loneliness

Main Point or Thesis of Essay loneliness
Bell word Lonely

Paragraph 1 -- Opening
Hook: Everyone in life will, or already has, been lonely.
Comment on the hook: People can feel lonely even around people me, Dill.
Comment on the hook: In lonely places me, Dill
Thesis (with bell word) Being lonely is bad but when you’re finally not you feel joyful.


Paragraph 2

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis) Dill’s loneliness
2 Echo words to be used: Abandoned seclusion

SD: Dill said his parents would play with him
CM: Bought a lot of toys but expected him to just play with them
CM Dill said his parents “just wasn’t interested in me”


SD: Thought that they liked a secluded life
CM: Said “they stayed gone all the time”
CM: didn’t acknowledge him being there


CS: overall Dill had a very lonely stay at his parents house

Paragraph 3

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis) I feel lonely sometimes
2 Echo words to be used: lonesome lost

SD: when I am alone in my house
CM: I watch a movie or play a game
CM: read a book

SD: At huge parties
CM: Don’t know anyone there
CM: I am a shy person

CS: The best feeling though is when someone comes who I know

Paragraph 4

Hook (the same as paragraph 1, or different) Everyone in life will, or already has, been lonely
Echo word (could be bell word) lonely
Comment on the hook: Dills loneliness
Comment on the hook: My loneliness
Re-statement, in slightly different words, of the thesis: Every one enjoys the moment that someone comes and they are no longer lonely.

Growing Up

An Essay about Maturing

Pine Point

November 4, 2010

Jordan Crawford

            For me growing up is a breathtaking thing, a time were you learn new things and make new friends. For Jem and Scout I think it is the same way for them; they are always finding new things and making new friends. I too also find new things and make new friends. After this essay you may see my perspective on growing up.

             In some ways Jem and Scout and I grow up many different ways and many of the same ways. From To Kill a Mockingbird it sounds like Jem and Scout grow up depending mainly on who they spend there time with. When Jem and Scout are with their father, Atticus, they seem to grow up in a positive way, learning how to express their feeling respectively. I think this is a wonderful way to learn, of course, but they also are influenced by people they are around like Mrs. Dubose that treat them poorly.

            Overall Jem and Scout may have many influences but not all good; but this is the opposite of me. I try to not rush growing up and instead take my time and learn about the ever changing world we live in; which our school and our parents teach us all about. Speaking of school, school is one of my biggest influences, being with my friends growing up together is truly an awe-inspiring experience that everyone should witness as we learn and grow. Together Jem, Scout and I have a lot in common. The few I mentioned being that we both learn from parents which is remarkable. We also grow on friends everyday. Try to learn a lot each day but do not try to grow up to soon and cherish being a kid while it lasts.

            Growing up also has to do with a specific person who may learn at a slower or faster rate. In Jem and Scouts case I think that they enjoy growing up with their dad. I like take my time growing up with my friends, and also family. In the whole just enjoy growing up while you can.

Jordan

Graphic Organizer

November 2, 2010

Pine Point

Opening Paragraph
(TS) Growing up is a wonderful part of life for me, a time were you learn new things and make new friends.
(CM)Growing up in Maycomb County
(CM) Growing up for me
(CS)After this you may see my way of how growing up is

Body Paragraph
(TS) Growing up for kids
(SD) For Jem and Scout growing up seems to have to do with who they are around
(CM)When the kids are around their father they seem to grow up in a positive way
(CM)When around other people they tend to grow up at a fast rate when they are influenced negatively.
(SD)For me growing up is very fun.
(CM) I try not to grow up to fast so I don’t miss anything
(CM)Everyday I spend with my classmates I grow with these people as we all learn more and become closer friends
(SD) Together Jem, Scout and I have a lot in common
(CM)We all like learning from our parents
(CM)We also like to have friends to grow up with
(CS)Try to learn a lot each day but do not try to grow up to soon and cherish being a kid while it lasts.

Closing paragraph
(TS) Growing up has many different meanings depending a the specific person
(CM)For Scout and Jem I think they enjoy growing up with their dad
(CM) I am trying not to miss anything
(TS) In the whole just try to enjoy growing

 

Astounding Surprises

An Essay about life’s surprises

An Essay by Jordan Crawford

8^th Grade English

Pine Point School

October 25, 2010

            You are walking over to your house and when you walk into your room you get surprised by a surprise party. My life’s surprises are mostly good and I think every loves a good surprise about a parent. In To Kill a Mockingbird Jem and Scout get a good father surprise. After this essay hopefully you will see surprises in your life.  

(TS)Jem and Scout are in for a big surprise when their ‘boring’ dad, who only reads books, shoots a dog dead. (SD) The kids find out from Ms. Maudie that Atticus was “the deadest shot in Maycomb County”.(CM) Although I think that the biggest amazement for Jem and Scout was when Atticus said he liked to shoot a shotgun and could hit 14 out of 15 doves.(CM) Astonishingly enough when Jem and Scout got air rifles he didn’t teach the kids how to use the rifles.(SD) In this whole chapter Jem amazed me the most with his thoughts about his dad.(CM) When Scout said they could tell everyone at school about the shooting Jem said ‘No’.(CM) When Scout asked why not, Jem replied with ,“Atticus is a gentleman, just like me.” this means he respects his decisions. (CS)Overall Jem and Scout learned an astonishing amount about their dad, some of it he probably should have told them about before.   

(TS)In sixth grade we had sports tryouts and I knew what I wanted to do and it was cross country; which turned out my dad when he was in high school. (SD) The fact of my dad running long distances was a huge shocker since he works with music and a rope company. (CM) Also my dad had won medals when he was running for most improved time or fasted time. (CM) Not only did he win medals he was also the captain of his team for a couple of years. (SD) For the years I have done cross country my dad has been a great coach. (CM) My dad has given me advice on pacing my breathing and running tips. (CM) My dad last year ran with me for the penguin run to help me become a better runner. (CS) My dad helping me and being runner helped we to my disbelief and shows not all surprises are bad.

Now when you walk into a surprise party you will probably cherish this moment. It is good to be surprised by something good once in a while. You can surprise other people too. Just make sure it is a good surprise not a surprise attack.

Outline for 4-Paragraph Essay

Main Point or Thesis of Essay: the many surprise of life
Bell word: surprise

Paragraph 1 -- Opening
Hook: You walk into a room and get surprise by a party for you
Comment on the hook: My experience with surprises
Comment on the hook: Jem and Scout’s experience with surprises
Thesis (with bell word) After this paragraph you may find a surprise in your life

Paragraph 2

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis) Jem and Scout’s big surprise
2 Echo words to be used: Astonishment Amazement

SD: One shot Finches
CM: The weapon the “boring dad” uses
CM: Didn’t teach his kids with the air rifles

SD: Atticus’ evasion
CM: Atticus said it’s no use lying to a kid and he lied
CM: After the mad dog shooting he didn’t want to talk about it

SD: Jem’s respect
CM: Jem said not to mention the shooting
CM: Said Atticus is a gentleman just like me

CS: Do you think Atticus made the right choice in not saying he was good with a gun

Paragraph 3

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis) Cross country
2 Echo words to be used: shocker disbelief

SD: 6th grade fall sports
CM: wanting to do cross country
CM: My dad doing cross country

SD: My dad work with music not running
CM: Won medals for meets
CM: Team captain in college

SD: Being a good coach
CM: Giving me advice
CM: Running penguin run with me

CS: Be ready to be surprised

Paragraph 4

Hook (the same as paragraph 1, or different) You walk into a room and get surprise by a party for you
Echo word (could be bell word) Surprise
Comment on the hook: It is good to be surprised
Comment on the hook: You can surprise people too
Re-statement, in slightly different words, of the thesis: Just make sure the surprise is a good one and not a surprise attack.

Freestyle Writing:Leaves

 In autumn the leaves on the trees start to fall off the trees onto the ground in a graceful swirl as the wind gently carries them off the trees and onto the green grass of the world, coating it in a crunchy blanket. The trees to are transformed by the leaves. These transformations are colorful as the leaves die they change colors turning the trees into colorful broccoli. As it gets colder the leaves fall of and the we experience winter when the leaves have all but disappeared in a frosted coat of snow. As spring comes the trees are sprinkled red with blossoms like a sprinkled donuts. Finally summer when all of the leaves are are back and the trees can become broccoli again.      

English 8A

Jordan
Pine Point

10/12/10

Essay #5

Crying a river

An Essay About Crying

            Sitting, laying, standing crying is something that we do when we are feeling sad, frustrated, or just mad. In the case of To Kill a Mockingbird Jem is crying from frustration for the lost of his special knot-hole. I too sometimes cry from frustration, but usually I cry from just being plain sad. After this essay you may see why Jem and I cry.
    (TS) Jem stands outside on his porch for a long time staring out at the tree not making an utter cry. This sentence is what I picture when I read page 84; Jem standing outside crying to himself about the tree.(SD)I think that Jem was crying because Mr. Radley sealed up the knot-hole to stop Jem and Scout from sending notes.(CM) Jem and Scout through the chapter were growing closer to the tree; waiting for the next trinket to appear in it.(CM) Although the biggest blow was dealt when Mr.Radley lied about the tree dieing so he had a excuse to seal up the hole so they would stop sending notes.(SD) Also Jem was just standing there quietly staring off the porch into a disappearing day, until the light is all but diminished.(CM) It seems as if Scout is saying that Jem was in a state of shock, which could explain why he just leaned against the rail and stared.(CM) This could explain that he couldn't believe he had to part with the knot-hole so he cried silent tears. Overall this was one depressing chapter, it was also ironic that Jem said, "Don't cry Scout.", yet he was the one crying.
          (TS)Cry is a sign of emotion that some creatures can't do.(SD) I personally do not cry for any old reason.(CM) Instead I usually will get upset if something such as the death of someone.(CM)I will usually not cry if I am mad or want something , and I see why Jem was crying about the knot hole.(CM)He had grown so close to it that it had become a friend, and he had lost it.(SD) What's more is that Jem was crying silent tears; the tears just rolled out of his teary eyes like a stream on a mountain with no sound.(CM) When one of my pets die my I usually don't bawl extremely loudly like I am trying to wake the dead.(CM) I usually just let the tear roll down my face and stare quietly into the endless space of time and thoughts.(CS)On the whole Jem had a good reason to cry for he had just been stopped from visiting his favorite place, but lets hope that Jem knows how to control his emotions.
          Although I may not cry when I want something and so far Jem doesn’t either, we both cry. To me crying is an emotion that we should be happy we have. But we also should take it for granted by crying all the time. Overall crying is wonderful but like I said use it wisely or it could be a bad thing.
             I think that one of my weak point on this essay was my opening and closing paragraph because I had trouble connecting the two paragraphs. On the other hand I think that one of my strong point would be my second (SD) first paragraph. One of the writing issues I'm working on is careless mistakes. I would give myself a B-.   
       

   

Jordan
English 8
Pine Point School
Essay #4
Peek-At-Boo
An Essay about Privacy
There is a strange house near you and you want to have a look at who owns it. This may seem like loads of fun but do you think that he or she would like you constantly watching them in their private space.This essay is about a book that is all about kids fascinated with a person. After this you may want to leave people alone ,because you don't want someone looking through your window every day..

(TS) “There was a long jagged scar that ran across his face; what teeth he had were yellow and rotten; his eyes popped out, and he drooled most of the time”was  Boo's description from To Kill a Mockingbird but does he really deserve kids invading his space? (SD)Dill and Scout dare Jem to run and touch the front porch of the Radely’s house. (CM) This is not that bad since they are not really peeking into his house or knocking on the door then running away.(CM) Although I’m sure Boo would have appreciated if these kids would leave him in peace it is not doing him any harm.(SD) Another one of Jem and Scouts privacy breaking deeds was when they went into Boo Radley’s yard.(CM) This was not a good thing, because unlike the other times Jem and Scout both took something out of a tree in Boo’s yard.(CM) These things happened to be gum and two very old pennies which could be his.(CS)Overall Jem, Scout, and Dill seem to have a obsession of Boo Radley’s life, but at least they are not yet peeking at Boo.
These times with Jem and Scout may seem exciting but they should really think if their neighbor want them snooping around. The worst thing they did to invade Boo's private space was when they went into his front yard and took stuff out of his trees. This obsession over Boo Radley is definitely going to get them into trouble. Lets just hope its not Boo who finds out.

I Am

English A
9/28/10
Essay #3

I Am
An Essay about Metaphors
Have you ever looked at someone and thought something like,"That guy is a slug." This guy is not a slug,of course,but he may act like one. This world is filled with similarities between people,objects,or creatures. These similarities are not just you judging yourself, but also the world picking out similar features you might have that connect you to something based on who you are.
(TS)Everyone in the world is like a different thing that they are actually not; I am a pillow in my mind. I may not actually be a pillow, but pillows and I have a lot in common. (SD)First pillows make you relax. (CM) Pillows are soft and do not fight with you and your comfort while you are resting; I too do not make people fight to maintain their comfort when they are around me. (CM)Also pillows will not leave you if you have trouble relaxing. They will stay were they are no matter what and so will I. (SD) Pillows, particularly ones made out of memory foam, absorb you in there foam. (CM) I personally do not absorb anything but I do absorb every word that you say to me and store it in my library of thoughts and facts for later. (CM)I have many facts from different friends and family that I have stored in my memory because they are important to the people so when they are sad I can say a joke they like, or some other thing. (SD) Also like a pillow I am indestructible. (CM)Pillows can take any punch you can give to them; they just sort of fill in the dent and move on. (CM) I too can fill in the dent of anger if someone is mean and move on with my life. (TS) This paragraph describes how I am like a pillow in many ways; but it doesn’t mean you can put your head on me.
I like pillows so naturally I thought of myself as a pillow.I could have thought of myself being a dog or lizard. I hope you see how you can use metaphors to compare things. But remember don't make fun of what people think they are like. You wouldn't want someone calling you "Dirt Clod" now would you.
My one writing issue is that sometimes I make careless mistakes by not reading over well. I also think my one strong point is my my CS in my body paragraph. My one weak spot thought is my topic sentences. I would give myself a B-

The Stranger: an Essay About Strangeness

English A
Essay #2
9/22/10


You are walking down the street near your house and you see a lady with funky clothes walking down the street, or a man whose eyes seem to see all in their squint eyed fashion. These are some of the examples of people who might seem a little odd. This is an essay describing a strange person that I have met. What I am going to tell you about this person is probably going to surprise you. Or you may think, “He doesn’t sound that much different than me.”
(TS)Have you ever felt like someone on your street is, well, a little bit strange? You are not alone; I have met many weird people too. The most memorable person is near my aunt and uncle's house.(SD)This odd person ,surprisingly, I have only seen a few times.(CM)This is because this elusive person never goes out of his house when people are around.(CM)Sometimes you can see him peering through the curtains from the dark reaches of his house, and when you look his way he seemingly melts into the shadows of his dim lit house.(SD)Also his house is a fairly descent size, with a nice glass dining area over looking the pond.(CM)Of course you'll never see this person outside.(CM)This is totally inexplicable since it is so nice out there; I haven't seen him have one party out on his deck.(SD)To wrap this all up, this person has flocks of geese at his house.(CM)It is like he keeps them.They are all over his lawn doing whatever they please.(CM)When I was little one of the geese attacked me for some bread that I had for the ducks, not a good experience.(CS)All together this person across the pond is strange indeed, but maybe not as strange as you and I.
Overall this essay described one peculiar guy. But maybe this guy is thinking how funny I am, always down by the pond staring like some psychopathic bird waiting to catch a fish or frog. Some of the people, who you think is different, may not be different in a bad way .Next time you think someone strange, think about if they are strange in a good way or a bad. After all it is not at all that bad to be the one who is different.

Frestyle wring #2

I am sitting in my room watching my gecko, and watching their peculiar ways. First of all they have a big smile on their face ,or so it seem,and they always seem to have a good time.They also walk hilariously like they they are dancing. Geckos,specifically leopard geckos, live in the moment; they are extremely care free and just lie there in their rock and sleep for what seems like a eternity. When I take them out to stretch there legs they seem to say, "Sure, why not?". I think personally that they must have exceptional hearing because, this could be really nasty to some, their ears are holes in the side of their head. "Yes you can see out the other side of there head." Leopard geckos could be called the 'Dogs of the Lizard World'.First they will lick your hands. Then when excited they wag there tail really fast. They also like to be rubbed on the head,"Creepy I know." They don't really bark but they will growl,which sounds like someone gargling water, which is pretty cool.This is really all I can tell you for now, so long.

Lost & Found

Jordan
English 8A
9/14/10
1st paragraph
The Lost Summer
An essay about a song and school
When people first hear a song they usually jump at the easiest answer to what the song is talking about. The Lost Summer is about the song Lost & Found. The song Lost and Found is about a rapper talking about losing and gaining things. This is slightly different than how I heard it, which is a little strange but maybe you might see it my way after you read this essay.
(TS)The song Lost & Found can be viewed in many ways. (SD)How I viewed it was about summer and school.(CM)If you dig through the outer layer of this song's crust you can see that summer is lost and school is found.(CM)Also when we are playing at home during the summer we think about how we are going to lose this when we go back to school.(SD)When we start school we find a whole lot of things that we have forgotten.(CM)Like some of us may have forgotten how to do something in Math or English.(CM)But when we get back to school its like, “Wow, I once new how to do that.”(SD)Also when school starts we want to get back to summer vacation or vice versa. (CM)When you are in school you can’t wait to get out; then on summer vacation we want to see our friends at school again. (CM) Then when school starts we say,“ Already?”, when we want this freedom of summer to never end(CS) This is how it will always be; we will lose and find school and summer for along time.
The summer is lost but the school is found. That is how I had interpreted this song; maybe you might have another idea of how this song relates to another subject. I hope you all see what I was trying to show you. Some of these feelings about summer and school are mine; some of the feelings are from my friends. Next time you hear some songs think about if they have a double meaning.

Freestyle writing

When you think about it writing is like birds.Like birds they can fly freely and have endless types of letters.The letters take place of the feathers which help the birds fly and with a sentence the letters help it fly too.Like birds they need wings to attach the feathers, this is why we have words to help power the sentence, and to make it a sentence. Last is the sentence which for a bird is a nice strong body. This is how I think writing is like birds. Some people may think sentences are like other animals, but I think they are like birds.